Friday, December 19, 2008

Sub-texting Charges May Apply.

I've been receiving Christmas Cards like crazy this year. (And every year. I am very popular.) People wishing me cheer and happiness. People demanding I have a Merry this or Happy that. But I can read between the lines. I know what they really mean. I demand from now on that all cards sent to me state clearly what they actually mean. So buy some blank cards and choose the inscription that applies.

Your are not important enough to receive a gift from me.

Happy Whatever-it-is-you-people-celebrate!

I'm still alive.  No inheritance for you this year!

Things are just great with me. No, really. Can't you see how happy we look in the photo!!! We're great......

I'm not sure who you are, but your are on my card list and I don't want to take you off the list, just in case.

If this marriage thing doesn't work out, you know where to find me.

You purchased something from my business this year. Now I will send you cards that make me seem like a "friend of the family". Please buy more stuff.

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