Thursday, February 12, 2009

Can't Buy Me Love, So Stop Trying

The greatest of all holidays is here. Last minute gifts are a hassle, but often necessary. Here are some great last minute gift ideas for your hard to shop for Valentine.

Groceries. Nothing says love like milk, eggs and bread. Now get in there and make me some French toast.

Absence of Malice (not the movie, actual lack of ill will)

A promise ring. This is the perfect gift to say "I don't want to marry you, but I don't feel like finding someone new right now."

"Price Check" Care Kit. Tell them that you care enough to save them the embarassment of shopping for all of their disgusting afflictions. Includes: tampons, douche, Preparation H, Gas X, jock itch cream, odor eaters and a Fall Out Boy CD.


Stolen Flowers. Why pay $150 for roses? Those dead people won't even miss the wreaths.

Rohypnol. Stop wasting all that time and money getting her drunk.

Tickets to see hilarious, live Improv Comedy at Cafe Eclectic on Valentine's Day at 8pm. Wait! You don't need tickets! Just show up!

Hugs and Kisses,

1 comment: